Two days ago Geoffrey (one of my colleagues) entered the office announcing he was going on paternity leave cause his wife just had a baby: their first born.
I was all like "Awww that's great! Congrats! How is your wife? Is that a boy or a girl?", all that questions (it's a boy by the way). He looked overwhelmed by my enthusiasm but then again I always come on too strong with him (who is a very calm guy) so I was not surprised. Then he causally drops THE SENTENCE: "Will you come on Tuesday to the baby party?"
Now let's make a premise here: I had obviously never been to one of these "social events" so I did not know what to expect but the answer had to be yes, especially because they really care about us going there. So I was all excited and yes yes I am coming, it will be a pleasure but I did not really think he would have noticed our presence (usually when these events occur they have HUGE family gatherings and also the neighbors come from all over). I was expecting to witness one of those typical African ceremonies where they dance and say a few words about the baby.
So here I am on Wednesday, the day after, to tell you how wrong I actually was; the ceremony is NOT about the baby, not at all.
I actually started getting suspicious when yesterday after work all the colleagues I was going with told me to drive to the place. I was surprised since one of our drivers was coming with us and I pointed that out saying that he could have driven (I mean don't get me wrong I love driving but it's rainy season and remember how the roads are here and all that stuff?). Well the reply was: "No no Anna we need to get there because YOU guide us there"
Mmm what the hell does that mean? So I felt kinda like Moses leading them to Geoffrey's place (which I mean because of rainy season is kinda in between waters and rivers so the metaphor makes sense). Anyways just picture the scene: I'm the only white person, driving a car with ten South Sudanese people in it through a village and everyone is obviously staring at us.
We finally reach the place, I park in the middle of nowhere and as I get out of the car everyone starts going "Anna, Anna come here, sit here, try this, eat that, drink tea". Needless to say I had never seen any of these people in my whole life and Geoffrey was nowhere to be seen. So we sit and basically wait.
After what seemed like forever finally Geoffrey arrives (I mean I was really hoping to see him since he was the only one that I knew) and comes straight to me. That was the moment when I knew I didn't just have to witness a ceremony.. Ugh.
this is our how dialogue sounded like:
"Hi Anna, thank you so much for coming, I am so happy to see you."
"No problem, my pleasure I am honored to be here. So when do we get to see your wife and the little one?"
"They will come out in a while and then you will have to talk and give him the second name. The name is Gabriele Erba (I'll get back to that later); you can deliver the speech and bless us and the food."
Then he stood up to go inside the house and get ready. DEAR GOD, SERIOUSLY? I so knew it!
So he left me in there hanging, trying to think what kind of speech to deliver, what to say on such occasion.
Geoffrey and his wife come out after one minute with the little thing and they sit down on two chairs prepared for them.
One man stands up (still haven't figured out who he is; probably the head of the family or something close to that) and he claps his hands. everybody starts clapping and then the man turns towards me (WHY OH WHY).
"We are all here today to celebrate the new born (yeah seriously, do not forget that) so we do not want to give speeches (really? thank god!) but we just want to celebrate (yep, me too). You know when there is a new born in South Sudan we have a special celebration. The mother after having delivered stays inside the house and comes out with the child on the third day if it's a boy and on the fourth day if it's a girl (that was actually interesting to learn). So please (the guy has been looking at me the whole time, it's CREEPY) Anna say something briefly, give the kid a second name now that they have come out and bless us and the food."
RIGHT.
Everyone is staring and I just say a few words about the joy of having babies blabla, its such a blessing blabla, we're all very happy blabla... and we shall name him Gabriele Erba! (everyone claps, screams, laughs.. it was crazy really). So I am done, they clap and they are all still staring.
oh god, what now? the blessing, right! ehm BLANK. don't know what to say; thankfully one of my colleagues rescued me and said something brief and concise. then of course the guy still looking at me asks me to approach the table and start eating so that everyone will follow. and yeah then the party started.
So basically I thought it was all bout the baby but it was not. The mother and the baby came out for those 5 minutes and then disappeared in the house again; as usual it's the guest that counts. I thought the mother was gonna go around showing the child, having conversations, being with the husband but no I haven't even seen the little thing properly as he was wrapped like a burrito in 3 or 4 blankets.
Bottom line is it doesn't matter which party you are attending, if you are white it will always somehow be about you and you will have to do a lot of talking!
Oh yes THE NAME: well Gabriele Erba is our previous country representative and Geoffrey grew very fond of him so he decided to name his child after him (and apparently I had to give the name cause we work for the same organization and I'm white). The funny part is that they do not only use the name but also the surname (and that is quite common in South Sudan).
So meet Waigo Solomon Gabriele Erba something else (they really confused me with the name thing, apparently you can give a kid up to 6 names) who made his social debut yesterday!
I was all like "Awww that's great! Congrats! How is your wife? Is that a boy or a girl?", all that questions (it's a boy by the way). He looked overwhelmed by my enthusiasm but then again I always come on too strong with him (who is a very calm guy) so I was not surprised. Then he causally drops THE SENTENCE: "Will you come on Tuesday to the baby party?"
Now let's make a premise here: I had obviously never been to one of these "social events" so I did not know what to expect but the answer had to be yes, especially because they really care about us going there. So I was all excited and yes yes I am coming, it will be a pleasure but I did not really think he would have noticed our presence (usually when these events occur they have HUGE family gatherings and also the neighbors come from all over). I was expecting to witness one of those typical African ceremonies where they dance and say a few words about the baby.
So here I am on Wednesday, the day after, to tell you how wrong I actually was; the ceremony is NOT about the baby, not at all.
I actually started getting suspicious when yesterday after work all the colleagues I was going with told me to drive to the place. I was surprised since one of our drivers was coming with us and I pointed that out saying that he could have driven (I mean don't get me wrong I love driving but it's rainy season and remember how the roads are here and all that stuff?). Well the reply was: "No no Anna we need to get there because YOU guide us there"
Mmm what the hell does that mean? So I felt kinda like Moses leading them to Geoffrey's place (which I mean because of rainy season is kinda in between waters and rivers so the metaphor makes sense). Anyways just picture the scene: I'm the only white person, driving a car with ten South Sudanese people in it through a village and everyone is obviously staring at us.
We finally reach the place, I park in the middle of nowhere and as I get out of the car everyone starts going "Anna, Anna come here, sit here, try this, eat that, drink tea". Needless to say I had never seen any of these people in my whole life and Geoffrey was nowhere to be seen. So we sit and basically wait.
After what seemed like forever finally Geoffrey arrives (I mean I was really hoping to see him since he was the only one that I knew) and comes straight to me. That was the moment when I knew I didn't just have to witness a ceremony.. Ugh.
this is our how dialogue sounded like:
"Hi Anna, thank you so much for coming, I am so happy to see you."
"No problem, my pleasure I am honored to be here. So when do we get to see your wife and the little one?"
"They will come out in a while and then you will have to talk and give him the second name. The name is Gabriele Erba (I'll get back to that later); you can deliver the speech and bless us and the food."
Then he stood up to go inside the house and get ready. DEAR GOD, SERIOUSLY? I so knew it!
So he left me in there hanging, trying to think what kind of speech to deliver, what to say on such occasion.
Geoffrey and his wife come out after one minute with the little thing and they sit down on two chairs prepared for them.
One man stands up (still haven't figured out who he is; probably the head of the family or something close to that) and he claps his hands. everybody starts clapping and then the man turns towards me (WHY OH WHY).
"We are all here today to celebrate the new born (yeah seriously, do not forget that) so we do not want to give speeches (really? thank god!) but we just want to celebrate (yep, me too). You know when there is a new born in South Sudan we have a special celebration. The mother after having delivered stays inside the house and comes out with the child on the third day if it's a boy and on the fourth day if it's a girl (that was actually interesting to learn). So please (the guy has been looking at me the whole time, it's CREEPY) Anna say something briefly, give the kid a second name now that they have come out and bless us and the food."
RIGHT.
Everyone is staring and I just say a few words about the joy of having babies blabla, its such a blessing blabla, we're all very happy blabla... and we shall name him Gabriele Erba! (everyone claps, screams, laughs.. it was crazy really). So I am done, they clap and they are all still staring.
oh god, what now? the blessing, right! ehm BLANK. don't know what to say; thankfully one of my colleagues rescued me and said something brief and concise. then of course the guy still looking at me asks me to approach the table and start eating so that everyone will follow. and yeah then the party started.
So basically I thought it was all bout the baby but it was not. The mother and the baby came out for those 5 minutes and then disappeared in the house again; as usual it's the guest that counts. I thought the mother was gonna go around showing the child, having conversations, being with the husband but no I haven't even seen the little thing properly as he was wrapped like a burrito in 3 or 4 blankets.
Bottom line is it doesn't matter which party you are attending, if you are white it will always somehow be about you and you will have to do a lot of talking!
Oh yes THE NAME: well Gabriele Erba is our previous country representative and Geoffrey grew very fond of him so he decided to name his child after him (and apparently I had to give the name cause we work for the same organization and I'm white). The funny part is that they do not only use the name but also the surname (and that is quite common in South Sudan).
So meet Waigo Solomon Gabriele Erba something else (they really confused me with the name thing, apparently you can give a kid up to 6 names) who made his social debut yesterday!
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